Physique Swapping
by Beach chick
Summary: It's April Fool's Day on Atlantis. Rodney plays a joke on John, and he switches bodies with Elizabeth, but Rodney does not know that John switched with Elizabeth, and he tries to figure out who John switched bodies with. Sparky
1. Chapter 1

AN: The rest of Cover Story is coming eventually. I'm taking a break for now and focusing on a more…humorous fic.

**Physique Swapping**

John woke up with a massive head ache. He reached into his hair, but he did not feel its regular bed-hair-chia-pet-likeness. The Colonel was so sleepy that he did not notice the difference. He rubbed his eyes and looked around. That was when that he immediately noticed the change. It was not his room. It had more space and looked a lot cleaner. He rubbed his eyes again thinking he was still dreaming and opened them.

'Ok, not a dream,' he thought finally realizing whose room it was. 'Elizabeth's? I would have remembered if we had…whoa…bad thought John. Do not go there.' He looked around again. Elizabeth was no where to be seen. 'Okay, this is weird,' he thought heading to the bathroom to wash the sleep out of his eyes. John threw water on his face. 'Elizabeth is not going to be happy to see me here…' His thoughts trailed off as he looked in the mirror and jumped back at the sight he saw.

"What the-" He did not finish the sentence. The face in the mirror, and the voice coming out of his mouth was not his own. An unusual though sprang into his mind, and he rushed frantically out of his room only to see himself leaving his room and crash into him. His body jumped and covered his mouth with his hand.

"Elizabeth?" It was so weird hearing her voice for his.

"John? How…how…I'm in your body," she stated looking down at herself or rather John's self and looked back up at him confused.

People were starting to stare at their leaders in their pajamas, standing in the hallway. John swished his hand over the panel, pulled her into the room, and the door swished close behind them. Finally they could have some privacy to sort out what was going on.

"Did you eat anything different?" Elizabeth asked.

"What?" John replied.

"We must have done something different for our bodies to switch like this. I mean last time I checked my body was my own."

"No, I know I did not eat anything different, and I know you didn't," he said hearing his stomach growl. "You know, you should eat more."

"I eat…" she held up her finger and pointed it at him. "Don't you dare junk up my body with all that stuff I see you eat all the time."

"What? The only thing I eat is the stuff in the mess hall."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. John never knew his eyebrows could go up so far.

"Exactly!" She said or his body said. He was getting confused now.

"We have to figure this out," John said pacing. "Touch anything weird lately?"

"No…you?"

"No."

John shook his head and long brown hair flew into his eyes. 'How does she deal with her hair.' He brushed it out of his eyes. 'It's so soft and wavy and…'

"I'm glad to see that you are taking good care of my hair," she joked.

He immediately stopped touching it, and looked over at her. He changed the subject as quickly as he could. "I can't think over an empty stomach. Let's go get some breakfast."

To be continued...

AN: Will John and Elizabeth find out what happened to them? How is Rodney involved? Will they tell people what happened or will they try to keep their change a secret? Just a few questions to think about.

Comments are loved. Flames are stupid. Please hit the button at the bottom. :)


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thanks for the reviews everyone! I'm lucky to be getting this chapter up today. I have three finals tomorrow to worry about. Anyways, please enjoy.

**Physique Swapping Chapter 2**

John started to pull her out the door to get some much needed breakfast, but she held her feet firmly to the floor.

"I'm not going anywhere like this."

"Like what?"

"Pajamas," she stated like it should have been obvious. She was standing there in his Scooby Doo boxers, and gray shirt. "I never figured that you were a Scooby Doo fan."

"Yeah…well you know…that and Evel Knievel."

"I'm more of a Wonder Women person myself."

"Is that because she wears red?"

"There's that."

He looked down at what he was wearing. "You have a nice outfit too."

"Yes, and I'm not letting you go out there like that," she said looking at her pink pajama pants and black shirt.

"What," he teased. "Are you afraid that the scientists will see something they'll like?"

She hit him lightly in the arm. "That's not funny, John, and it would not be me they would be looking at. It would be you."

John shivered at the thought. 'Now that's something I never want to experience.'

Thinking quickly, the Colonel walked across the room. "I have clothes in here," John said. He picked out something for Elizabeth to put on and handed it to her.

"I'll have my eyes closed the whole time," she said reassuringly, as she went into the bathroom and shut the door.

John heaved a sigh. This was getting awkward. He had no idea how the two of them switched bodies, but he was going to get to the bottom of it.

Breakfast was very interesting that morning. The two of them were giving each other lessons on how to be themselves as they ate in the crowded mess hall.

"I don't fold my arms or sit like that," she said.

"Then how am I supposed to sit?"

Dr. Weir put her fork aside, and sat up straight, demonstrating for him how it should be done. John did the same, and he gave her some helpful tips of his own.

"Do you remember how I was just sitting?"

"Yes."

"Sit like that."

"But-"

"No buts."

"Fine," she sighed, changing the way she was sitting. "You have bad posture."

"Awe, you're just saying that to be nice," he joked causing her to smile. "There is that smile I've come to know and love," he said putting his fork into his hash browns and into his mouth.

She smiled shyly but did not say anything.

They were silent for a few seconds until John started the conversation again. "I've been trying to figure out how we could have switched like this, but nothing is coming to me."

"I know what you mean. I've been going over the last twenty four hours, and I'm not coming up with anything either."

"What did you do yesterday?" John asked her.

She sipped her orange juice and looked up at him. "It was kind of boring really. I just woke up, and I worked in my office for most of the day. Rodney and Radekhad some new technology to show me, but it was almost twelve, and I told them to show me it in the morning. After that, I went to bed. What about you?"

"I got up, and I worked on my latest mission report. After lunch, I sparred with Teyla, and Ronon and spend another hour or more in the gym. I ate dinner with my team, listen to Rodney complain about it being April Fool's Day today, and I went to bed. My day wasn't all the exciting either."

"Rodney was complaining about April Fool's Day?"

'Yeah, last year I pulled a prank on him, and he swore he was going to get me back sometime." 'Putting that lemon juice in his drink last year was hilarious,' John thought fondly back on his childish prank.

"You don't think he had anything to do with the way we are now?" Elizabeth asked.

"McKay? Naw…he couldn't perform a single prank if his life depended on it."

"I sure hope your right, because if he decides to try anything, it will be me that he pranks."

"If he was going to pull a prank, he would have already done it by now. Don't even worry about it."

Elizabeth put down her napkin, and she looked down at her watch. "We're going to be late."

"For what?" John asked looking confused.

"The mission briefing scheduled for this morning."

"Oh right," John said following her out of the room.

"This is going to be exciting."

"What is?"

"Your team is scheduled to go off world after the meeting, and I will be going in your place."

"What?" John asked shocked, as he stopped her in the hallway.

"I'm supposed to be you, and you are supposed to be me. That means you take over my duties here, and I get to go on the mission." She started to walk past him, but he grabbed her arm and stopped her again.

"Elizabeth, this mission could be dangerous."

"It's a simple meeting with the people of Dagon. They are peaceful people, and we are negotiating with them. Who is more qualified for that than me?**"**

'She's stubborn,' John thought. "Okay, no one is more qualified to negotiate, but the people outside their village are hostile. The village is raided all the time by thieves in the area."

"It will be fine, John. They haven't had a raid for months, not since we supplied them with the means to protect themselves. Now we are going to be late," she pulled her arm out of his hand and started back down the hall. John followed behind her. He was determined not to let her go on the mission.

To be continued


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thank you for all the reviews. Here is chapter three. **  
**

**Physique Swapping Chapter 3**

They entered the briefing room, and just like John had suspected, none of his team members had arrived. Somehow a file magically appeared in Elizabeth's hands, and she handed it to him.

'Was she carrying that the whole time?' He thought looking at the file.

"This is some information on the planet and the people who live there. You probably know most of this by now from your various visits, but we still have to go over it anyways and make sure your team is ready to go.

John nodded, trying to think of a way to talk her out of this, but nothing was coming to mind yet.

The doors opened slowly as Rodney, Teyla, and Ronon trickled into the room, one after the other. They each chose seats around the table and sat down. John noticed the bored look on their face. Mission briefings were not new to his team. They had these meetings at least once a week for the past three years. 'This can get boring after a while,' John thought. 'They all look like they have better things to do. That's it!' John thought to himself as a brilliant thought popped into his head. Nothing was said for a few minutes as John was working out his plan in his mind.

"Elizabeth," Elizabeth said to John. "You usually start the briefing."

"Yes," John said trying to say what he thought Elizabeth might say.

Rodney interrupted him. "How long is this mission supposed to take. I found some interesting technology in one of the labs by the east side of the pier, and Zelenka and I were working on it." Rodney glanced at who he thought was the Colonel out of the corner of his eye, but Dr. Weir did not notice.

"It shouldn't take long," Elizabeth said sitting back in her chair with her arms crossed like John would.

"Forget the mission for today," John said suddenly.

"Really?" Rodney asked as he, Teyla, and Ronon gave John shocked looks.

"Yes," he said. "I can tell that you guys would rather be somewhere else-"

"We are supposed to be meeting with our allies to trade," Elizabeth said firmly.

"I'll let them know that we'll be coming next week," John said rising out of his chair. "You guys have been working too hard lately. Get some rest or whatever, and we will go on the mission next week."

Rodney shared glances with Teyla and Ronon. They looked as bewildered as he was feeling. "Elizabeth, are you feeling okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine," John said putting his hands in his pockets. He took them out quickly and placed them on the table like he thought Elizabeth might. "You guys look like you could use a break, and now I'm giving you one." Elizabeth was shaking her head angrily at John, but he continued. "This briefing is rescheduled for next Tuesday." Then he walked out. The rest of the team stared after him in shock, and Elizabeth quickly ran after him. She was more upset than all of them put together.

* * *

"Weird," Ronon said summing up all their feelings into one word as the three of them got up and left the room.

"That was strange," Teyla commented. "Elizabeth usually does not cancel a meeting like that."

"She doesn't cancel them at all," Rodney said thinking out loud.

"Now we can practice that mediation again," Ronon said smiling at her.

Teyla rolled her eyes but humored him. "I've already told you. You are hopeless."

"So is that a yes that we'll be practice meditation?"

She just smiled at him as the two of them left Rodney who headed back to his lab lost in thought about the two leaders' strange behavior and the experiment he was not sure had succeeded.

* * *

"What the hell was that?" Elizabeth said, stopping John in the hallway.

"What was what?" he asked. He faked a confused look, but she ignored it.

"I was supposed to be going on this mission. I haven't gotten a chance to talk with-"

"Yeah, I know," John said stopping her. "But you're not considering how dangerous it is."

"John…" she said lowing her tone of voice.

"No, Elizabeth. That mission was too dangerous. I never would have forgiven myself if something had happened to you while you were out there."

"John-"

"No, listen to me. It's better if we stay here and try to figure this all out. We agreed not to tell anyone so it would give us a few days to come up with an explanation of what has happened to us. If you are off world, we can't do that."

She sighed, knowing John was right, but she did not like to admit it. "Fine, it is better that I didn't go."

"Exactly," he said feeling like he was acting more like Elizabeth already. She resisted the temptation to roll her eyes at him as they walked down the corridor.

* * *

Rodney entered the lab and sat down near a small device Zelenka was looking at.

"Well, did it work," he asked looking over at McKay who was still lost in thought.

"I don't know."

"You don't know."

"Yes, I don't know," he snapped at his friend. "Despite what you might think, I don't know everything."

"I should have never helped you with this scheme of revenge!" Radeka mumbled under his breath.

"Oh, like you didn't want to test this out!" Rodney said.

"We do not know all of the side effects of this device yet. What if it had altered his DNA or-"

"Would you relax. The data base just said how the ancients were working on this as a way of finding a suitable match. It would seem that they were better at building technology then actually find a soul mate and repopulate their society, and it probably didn't work," Rodney sighed. "He showed no sign of change today although Elizabeth's behavior was certainly different." He looked at the screen in front of him.

"How so?" His friend asked looking up from the notes on the screen.

" I swear that she and Sheppard are getting more alike each day. She actually canceled the meeting today and our mission so we could all take a break."

"Maybe she noticed how tired everyone was." He suggested.

"I guess," he said. "Well…this looks like another failure of an experiment," he complained. "John would have switched bodies by now with someone if it had worked. I would have actually tried the device myself, but the whole idea of being in someone else body is not something I would like to experience again."

"When you had Cadman's consciousness in your brain you were not in her body. "

"Yeah, well it was close enough."

"All I'm saying is-"

"Wait…wait," Rodney put up his hand indicating for Zelenka to stop speaking.

He scanned the data base again and information he had not seen before jumped out at him. "Oh no…"

"Now what did you do," Zelenka asked.

"Good thing the device didn't work," Rodney said looking over at him. "The reason the Ancients stopped their testing was because of the unforeseen problems with this kind of technology." The scientist looked over his friends shoulder and read the first line Rodney pointed out for him."

A whole bunch of Czech curse words flooded out of his mouth, and their eyes fell on the device in front of them.

To be continued


End file.
